The Simmonds Signal

Weekly insights for writers, creatives, and storytellers to turn writing into a fulfilling, sustainable career (while designing a life just as inspiring as their work)

Hi, I’m Taylin. And I’ve struggled with something that’s not as obvious as an alcohol addiction—but it’s just as dangerous. I’ve struggled with my ego.

It’s not easy to say, but here we are.

Admitting we have a problem is the first step to solving it, right? That’s what people say when they talk about addiction—acknowledge the issue, then take action to overcome it.

Admitting you have an ego problem? It’s not easy. In fact, it’s downright painful. That’s probably why it took me so long to even admit it.

But after hearing a few people close to me point it out, I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

I had to face the mirror and ask: how do I overcome this ego addiction?

The answer is not what I expected…

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Ego and the Power of Confession

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”

I never thought I’d find the solution to my ego problem in a church.

I’m not religious, not by a long shot. But recently, a friend explained something to me that flipped a switch:

"Spiritual practices like confession and affirmations work by reprogramming our subconscious mind. And reprogramming the subconscious is key to overcoming the ego’s negative patterns."

It was a lightbulb moment.

Confession isn’t just about admitting your wrongdoings. It’s about acknowledging you have a problem, understanding its impact, and owning up to the consequences.

Only then does change become possible.

I’ve come to realize that my ego isn’t just an annoying part of me—it’s a destructive force. And for a while, I didn’t want to admit that. But once I did, I saw clearly how it hurt me—and everyone close to me.

Once I confessed, I could finally open my mind to a new way of thinking, a way that’s constructive and beneficial. Confession wasn’t just a release—it was the key to my own transformation.

Without confession—wether it's through words or self reflection—change is impossible.

With confession, change becomes not only possible but also probably.

If you fail to accept you have a problem, you lack the motivation to do anything about it. It wasn’t until the consequences became painfully clear that I realized, “I have to do better.”

Next? The steps I'm taking…

How to Change Your Mind (And Relationship to Ego)

Ryan Holiday’s book Ego is the Enemy makes the case that the ego is something we must fight against. And while I don’t disagree, here’s what I’ve learned:

You don’t need to abolish the ego entirely. A complete absence of self would leave us cold, confused, and unable to make an impact on the world.

Instead of trying to eliminate the ego, my goal is to reshape it into something healthier.

But what does that look like?

It’s simple: Stop putting others down to lift yourself up.

This is the ego at its worst manifestation—manipulating you to believing you’re above others. And the way we talk to ourselves feeds it.

Ever catch yourself thinking or saying things like:

• “That person’s writing sucks.” (implying you’re better)

• “That person’s brand is going nowhere.” (implying yours is stronger)

• “That person makes money, but I live a more virtuous life.” (implying you’re better)

These thoughts don’t serve you—they hold you back.

They reinforce a false sense of superiority that isolates you from what really matters: growth.

What good does it do to criticize others?

• Does it make you better? No.

• Does it teach you anything? No.

• Does it move you closer to your goals? No.

• Does it connect you with others? Definitely not.

Instead of continuing to fuel my ego’s hunger for dominance, I’ve started using mindfulness to catch myself.

When I find myself thinking, ‘That person’s writing sucks,’ I stop and ask: ‘What can I learn from this person?’

Replace criticism with curiosity to swap your mindset from judgment to growth.

Questions to lift you up, rather than drag others down.

• “What can I learn from this person’s writing?”

• “What did this person do right that I can apply to my own work?”

• “What strengths can I acknowledge in this person, regardless of their success?”

• “How is this person doing something I should be doing to achieve my goals?”

I once heard my co-founder—Dale Pyrcz—say something that really stuck with me:

“You don’t have the right to critique anyone. Especially if you’re not doing better than them in that area. And even then, your critique should be coming from a place of learning, not judgment.”

That’s powerful. And it’s true.

It's healthier to offer feedback from a place of learning, not judgment. If you’re ahead in an area, great. But that doesn’t mean you have the right to tear someone down. Critique should always be aimed at helping, not harming.

You never gain anything by punching down.

But you gain everything by being open to learning from everyone you meet, no matter where they’re at in their journey.

A New Path to Ego

So here’s the invitation: join me on this journey to manifest a healthier, more constructive ego.

We’ve got nothing to lose. And everything to gain.

The more we learn to let go of that need to be better than others, the more we open ourselves to true growth.

The ego becomes an ally in this process, not an enemy.

So, are you in?

-Taylin John Simmonds

P.S.

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Some past student results: